Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Intro...

Let me introduce myself. I am a 26-year-old member of the LDS Church. I am also a returned missionary, and I am still active in the Church. And yes, I am sexually attracted to other men. I have same-sex attraction (SSA), I’m gay, whatever. I won’t get into semantics.

Thus far, I have chosen to live in harmony with the Church’s teachings. I am far from perfect, but I have not had sex with another man. And, I intend to refrain from acting out on my desires.

This trial I am facing is very difficult and challenging. Many people in similar situations decide to act out and become sexually active. I do not judge these people. I have made different decisions, and I hope no one will negatively judge me for the decisions I make.

Life is tough for me right now, and it’s been tough for awhile. I need to sort through my feelings. I’ve been especially lonely lately, which makes it more challenging to deal with these feelings. I think these increased feelings of loneliness have increased my motivation to start this blog.

None of my family members or friends know about my attraction to men, and very, very few other people (basically Church leaders) know about it. I am very straight-acting, so no one has really ever questioned me about my orientation. I love sports—both playing and watching sports. I share many interests as most straight guys. I’m not trying to stereotype gay guys, but I just wanted to make the point that no one really knows about my feelings. So, it’s tough at times.

If no one reads this blog, that’s fine. It’s helpful to me. If straight people read this blog, I hope they will develop a greater understanding for homosexuals. For gay-LDS guys, I look forward to hearing your comments and experiences. For other gay guys, I would enjoy hearing from you as well, but please respect my decisions and I will give you the same respect.

So long for now!