Intro...
Let me introduce myself. I am a 26-year-old member of the LDS Church. I am also a returned missionary, and I am still active in the Church. And yes, I am sexually attracted to other men. I have same-sex attraction (SSA), I’m gay, whatever. I won’t get into semantics.
Thus far, I have chosen to live in harmony with the Church’s teachings. I am far from perfect, but I have not had sex with another man. And, I intend to refrain from acting out on my desires.
This trial I am facing is very difficult and challenging. Many people in similar situations decide to act out and become sexually active. I do not judge these people. I have made different decisions, and I hope no one will negatively judge me for the decisions I make.
Life is tough for me right now, and it’s been tough for awhile. I need to sort through my feelings. I’ve been especially lonely lately, which makes it more challenging to deal with these feelings. I think these increased feelings of loneliness have increased my motivation to start this blog.
None of my family members or friends know about my attraction to men, and very, very few other people (basically Church leaders) know about it. I am very straight-acting, so no one has really ever questioned me about my orientation. I love sports—both playing and watching sports. I share many interests as most straight guys. I’m not trying to stereotype gay guys, but I just wanted to make the point that no one really knows about my feelings. So, it’s tough at times.
If no one reads this blog, that’s fine. It’s helpful to me. If straight people read this blog, I hope they will develop a greater understanding for homosexuals. For gay-LDS guys, I look forward to hearing your comments and experiences. For other gay guys, I would enjoy hearing from you as well, but please respect my decisions and I will give you the same respect.
So long for now!
posted by Chris W. @ 4:13 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
Hey, thanks for the comment on my blog. I can very much understand a lot of the feelings you've mentioned, and commend your commitment. I look forward to seeing what you have to say.
One of the things I get out of going to an Evergreen support group is some healthy male bonding, that, and I don't feel so alone in dealing with this issue. If you are interested, here is the link: http://www.evergreeninternational.org/Groups.htm
going to try to do this as a link
Growth and Accountability Groups
I totally respect and applaude your efforts. I am the same way thus far and hope to be for the rest of this mortal probation. It is the hardest thing sometimes, but I think Heavenly Father made me really shy for that reason, so it would be harder to engage in any ssa activity.
Welcome.
I'm a gay RM, too, although about 20 years older than you.
You wrote: I think the hardest part of being a gay LDS guy is the loneliness.
I think this is true. It's one of the reasons blogging is good. You can see the experiences of others and realize you're not alone. It may not stop feelings of loneliness but it can help with the sense of isolation. Homosexual orientation is quite common. You're not alone.
I want to wish you the best of luck. Even though I took a different path than you (one that ultimately took me out of the church), I want to express my support for you and the choice you've made to stay in.
Good luck to you. I look forward to reading your blog entries.
Hey I found your blog only now.
I am also a 1980 native:) I appreciate this blog very much, too bad it has stopped since 2008. There are lots of good stuff in here. I very much identify in your introduction.
If you wanna write my e-mail is kreds19@gmail.com
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