God's Love
I have a hard time feelings God's love lately. I feel He is distant, and I don't know why. His distance is a great source of frustration because I feel I need Him by my side more than ever.
I think the hardest part of being a gay LDS guy is the loneliness. I have some great friends—guys and girls. But I haven’t been able to tell them about my struggles and feelings. I’ve prayed to know whom to tell and when to tell them, but I just don’t feel I can tell any of them right now. I think that comes with the territory of living in Utah.
posted by Chris W. @ 12:06 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
I disagree with Dave. I know that you will be able to tell those that love you most. I just came out to my best friend. I was so worried, but I can't shut people out of my life because I am affraid. He was amazing to me and is the typical Mormon married with a kid. He was so supportive and it made me feel sad about not telling him sooner.
Share your life with those that love you. The Lord knows the desires of your heart. The only way you can progress is if let others in. Collect your resources (meaning family, friends...) and perhaps by taking that extra step, they can shed some light on the subject. All I know is that whenever I have told someone I have received nothing but welcome arms and they were all from Utah and very LDS. Good luck, you are in my prayers.
I have not felt able to tell anyone in my immediate family, as they are more old school and equate gays with child molesters. I am not close enough with anyone in my extended family to feel a need to tell them. I have wished that I could be open with more than my wife, but haven't felt comfortable enough with the idea to do so. I have told very few people overall.
Some of the guys in my Evergreen group have had different experiences. They have been able to tell select family members with no fallout.
I would suggest you ask yourself why you want/need to disclose, and what you would get out of it. I would suggest you then make it a matter of prayer before a final decision.
When I came out to my parents, I got the impression they were going to keep it quiet. I knew by then that my attraction to men wasn't something I chose, and therefore, was nothing to be ashamed of. I told them it didn't have to be a secret.
They seemed to believe that if I told people, there was no turning back. I felt like they were ashamed. And perhaps they were.
I agree with ldswithssa in that you should evaluate your reasons for telling people. For me, it's important that they know where I'm coming from, so I tell people so they can know me better. Then I don't have to dance around words or worry that they'll take my comments in ways I don't intend.
But I really don't think you have anything to fear. President Hinckley has said that people with ssa are welcome in the church as long as they don't commit any homosexual acts. So you can throw that in the intolerant faces of those who choose to say things like "I will never say I have a friend who is gay" (this happened to me).
If you need someone to talk to, I'm in Utah too. My email is listed on my blog.
I remember when my brother told us. My biggest concern was where that would take him in the gospel. Would he cling to the gospel or would choose a different lifestyle without it?
I applaud you for your choice to stick to the gospel. It's not important what our attractions are, but it is important what we do with those attractions. Chastity applies to heterosexuals as well as homosexuals.
It may be shocking at first, but hopefully they will be mature enough to see what is really important. You.
I'm still not clear about where my brother stands concerning his feelings of the church, but this experience has brought my family so much closer together.
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