Checking Them Out!

There’s a topic that comes up occasionally with my friends, whether they are married/single, gay/straight, etc. It has to do with “checking out” other people. A lot of people (including myself) think it is appropriate to put limitations on ourselves when it comes to checking other people out. People place limits on themselves for various reasons, including religious beliefs, other moral reasoning, relationship commitments, marital vows, etc. If you believe it’s alright to ogle and fantasize as long as you don’t touch, then there’s no need for you to read the rest of this entry. If you believe limitations are appropriate, then here are my two cents.

I don’t think noticing beautiful people alone is a bad thing. In fact, noticing and admiring the right kind of beauty can be very uplifting. Some people whom I consider very beautiful may not have much beauty according to worldly or shallow standards—but their spirit, their personality, their heart, and the things that matter most make them just a pleasure to be around.

Noticing beauty alone is not wrong and it can be good. However, it becomes wrong when we start to covet physical features in someone else. It also becomes wrong when the thoughts become sexual and lustful. I feel good when people think I am beautiful because of who I truly am. I feel a little flattered when people admire my physical traits, but such good feelings for me are fleeting when they are based on outside appearances only.

Most 60-year-olds are certainly not physically attractive. Decades down the road when I am 60, I hope people are still attracted to me because of who I am.

And thoughts?