Short Update
It’s been a long time since I’ve posted, so I thought I would jot down just a couple thoughts. I am doing well overall, so thanks to those of you who’ve emailed me and asked.
As I have continued to turn to the Lord during my trials, I have been blessed. I have gained a stronger understanding about how I—along with my trials and temptations—fit into the Plan of Salvation. Taking a small leap of faith by continuing to practice my religion has allowed me to receive additional guidance and strength in my life.
My life is still full of uncertainty and challenges. But I know God will continue to support me and strengthen me. I will continue to grow and receive more and more of the true peace I desire.
Living a gay lifestyle would be fun, thrilling, and satisfying to some degree. But I know I would give up so much more by living such a lifestyle than I would gain. I am blessed immensely, and the peace, strength, and comfort I receive come from my choices.
God loves all of His children. Those who desire to follow His teachings are always welcome to grow closer to Him. Seemingly dark days through enduring tough trials lead to tremendous growth as we exercise faith, patience, and humility. Darkness and despair fade as we are strengthened through Christ.
I simply offer insights I have learned through the choices I’ve made. Everyone has to make their own choices.
posted by Chris W. @ 4:50 PM
11 comments
11 Comments:
I totally respect you for desiring a connection with God more than living a gay lifestyle. This is a decision that I am trying to make. Perhaps you can offer some advice.
I recently accepted that I'm gay. I've struggled with this issue for a long time. I'm also a recently returned missionary.
I will read more of what you have written, however I must confess that I'm not sure it is really possible for someone who knows they are gay to be a genuine Latter-day Saint. Being an RM yourself, I'm sure you understand the requirement exaltation. Do you think being gay exempts you from this requirement? I'm interested to know your opinion.
I'd appreciate a response via e-mail. I have a yahoo account by the same name in which I post this comment. I look forward to hearing from you.
It IS great to hear from you - I hadn't checked your blog for a while, but it's good to see an update and especially to see how well you are continuing to do. Thanks for the update.
Sounds like you doing well. Good on your for staying true to the gospel. You are an example to me.
I was glad to find this site as I have had trouble understanding what the LDS church really has offer it's gay members and gay potential memebers.There is a huge animosity toward the church from the gay community in general.I dont know how to answer their accusastions.I have managed to view(with some difficulty) Angels in America and found it both full of insite and disturbingly prejudicial.There need to be better answers for the issues the gay community raises about Mormonism.
I came across your blog from a link left on my account by my son's gay friend(who lives with us and has been a family friend since high school).He once dated my oldest,now married daughter in high school but now considers himself bisexual.He is very intellegent and aware of everything.I find myself measuring my own social awareness by his responses to what I say and do.
I have known quite a few openly gay men and women,and I find them witty,intellegent and fun to accociate and work with.Maybe I could have chosen to be gay myself based on my personality.But i don't have any overt SSA.My marriage of 26 years to a wonderful women has helped I am sure.
Your comments have helped to enlighten me.I still find it difficult to see why a gay perspective member would want to become a part of this culture.But I think that perhaps the church policy is still evolving concerning gays.When my father was a Branch president back in California I found the Bishop's hand book in his desk.Under the subject of homosexuality was the claim that it was a curable disease and reorientation should be encouraged with that in mind.Today the policy has been altered to encourage abstainance from fornication.The attitude of the church policy now includes the idea that gays just have sort of perminent handicap they must learn to live with.Yet there remains a void in the Mormon cultue as well as a void in official Church policy as to just how a gay person is ment to fit in to the Kingdom of God.I believe there is more to be done.
Time will tell.
I was glad to find this site as I have had trouble understanding what the LDS church really has offer it's gay members and gay potential memebers.There is a huge animosity toward the church from the gay community in general.I dont know how to answer their accusastions.I have managed to view(with some difficulty) Angels in America and found it both full of insite and disturbingly prejudicial.There need to be better answers for the issues the gay community raises about Mormonism.
I came across your blog from a link left on my account by my son's gay friend(who lives with us and has been a family friend since high school).He once dated my oldest,now married daughter in high school but now considers himself bisexual.He is very intellegent and aware of everything.I find myself measuring my own social awareness by his responses to what I say and do.
I have known quite a few openly gay men and women,and I find them witty,intellegent and fun to accociate and work with.Maybe I could have chosen to be gay myself based on my personality.But i don't have any overt SSA.My marriage of 26 years to a wonderful women has helped I am sure.
Your comments have helped to enlighten me.I still find it difficult to see why a gay perspective member would want to become a part of this culture.But I think that perhaps the church policy is still evolving concerning gays.When my father was a Branch president back in California I found the Bishop's hand book in his desk.Under the subject of homosexuality was the claim that it was a curable disease and reorientation should be encouraged with that in mind.Today the policy has been altered to encourage abstainance from fornication.The attitude of the church policy now includes the idea that gays just have sort of perminent handicap they must learn to live with.Yet there remains a void in the Mormon cultue as well as a void in official Church policy as to just how a gay person is ment to fit in to the Kingdom of God.I believe there is more to be done.
Time will tell.
Beware the trap of "the gay lifestyle." That poorly defined phrase can describe any number of things. It's often used by the church and opponents of homosexuality to paint a pretty bleak picture of life should you switch to the dark side.
I'm an ex-mormon who's currently in a two-year, gay monogamous relationship and I'm happier now than I ever was before. I've never set foot in a club and wouldn't dream of having promiscuous sex (not that I judge, it's just not for me).
If you choose to embrace your SSA, how you do so is entirely up to you.
"The gay lifestyle" is simply the way you live your life after you've decided that you'd rather spend your life with a guy than a girl.
That said, I don't think you'll ever really be able to make the church fit into your life should you go down that path.
I hope you can find something that works for you, as I have.
Hey, it was nice to stumble on this site. Just wanted you to know that I'm in the same boat as you, returned missionary with SSA, and have made the same decision to remain faithful to the church. I have gone through lots of trials, but I've stuck with my faith and just kept on going. After a long personal struggle, I am preparing to get married in the temple shortly to a wonderful girl. I have never been happier. Though my marriage is not going to be some "cure" for anything, and both me and her understand that, I have recieved the confirmation of the spirit that I am ready and worthy for this large and perhaps frightening step. My decision to remain a worthy member of the church was the best one I ever made.
I have learned for myself that through the atonement of Christ, we can have the power to do all things that the Lords would have us do. Not all members of the church who struggle with SSA should get married, but all will fulfill their part in the plan of our Heavenly Father. The endpoint of this life is ENDURANCE, not perfection. That'll be taken care of after. And exaltation is as valid a blessing for him who endures than for anyone else who endures any other human frailty.
Anyways, even though the pull towards any kind of gay lifestyle is strong, I can recommend that following the commandments of the Lord is well worth it. I know from personal experience that it's true, because that is what I am trying my best to do. Anyone who claims otherwise is only decieving themselves.
Anyways, keep your chin up! It'll all be worth it in the end!
Thanks for your comment Chris, feel free to be in touch.
I stumbled onto this site and I'm so glad that I did. Remember when you thought you were the only one struggling with SSA. I believe in strength in numbers. Ihave been on both sides of the issue. Married in the temple, divorced and then into a seven year gay relationship. Feeling hopeless I bought into the popular thought that there was no hope for me. I was Gay and there wasn't a thing I could do aboutit. Getting divorced was the biggest mistake of my life and my now 19 year old son's life. It's been a long road back, I'm in full membership and though I probally will not marry again Ihave hope that the Savior may someday give me that desire again. My advise is this; Pray always even if you don't feel worthy because Satan knows when we stop communicating with The Savior and our Heavenly Father he (satan)will win. SSA is also nothing to be ashamed of. Our struggle isn't any different than someone struggling to keep the word of wisdom. All things happen for a reason and I'm grateful the Lord knows why I've been given this particular challenge. I've also learned the question to ask is not WHY me but rather WHAT am I supposed to learn from this. Keep an eternal perspective this life is but a spec of time in the eternal scheme of our lives. Sorry so long but I hope this helps someone avoid the mistakes I've made. John
Would you mind sending me an email? I have something to send you in conjunction with the new site, Northern Lights, but no address.
one_bewitched@yahoo.com
Thanks,
Samantha
Just curious but you haven't updated since Sept O6. How are you doing? I am also dealing with being gay. Sorry i really hate the term SSA. I am a gay mormon dad in the divorce process now.
Have fought this way longer than I care to remember. I am who my Heavenly Father wants me to be but unfortunately in a church that doesn't want me to be me. There are so many of us dealing with this issue or handicap as I have heard it called lately and being excommunicated or expected to stay in the closet. So many of us fight and pray and do all we are "supposed" to do and still me deal with this. When will we know the answer. Most of us that fight this eventually give into it and how can it be wrong to live the life that our Heavenly Father made us to be. Being Gay is not a sin so why can't we love and be loved.
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