Context
Doing God’s will and keeping the commandments leads to blessings and happiness in this life. It was also leads to eternal life in the world to come. Following the adversary will ultimately lead to unhappiness and damnation.
Satan tries to remove the proper context from our decisions. He tries to get people to focus on the “high” that comes from drug use and ignore the addiction, pain, and misery that comes from drug addiction. He tries to get us to focus on the fun and fulfillment of fornication while ignoring the emotional and spiritual consequences associated with those actions. Satan uses this tactic for ALL sins: sexual sins, dishonesty, murder, etc.
If we could view every situation the way God views it, we would never sin. That’s one thing I try to do in my life. I asked for help to view choices and situations the way God sees them.
Why are some gay LDS guys able to stay in the Church and follow the Gospel teachings? I submit that context is a big part of it. They can see how being gay fits into God’s plan. They can see how God could love them, allow them to be gay, and still require them to live His commandments. They can see how being gay and LDS is not ultimately a burden—but a blessing. They have faith and a proper context to allow them to face this challenge and be successful.
posted by Chris W. @ 3:40 PM
12 comments
12 Comments:
It's interesting how you write as though you're an authority having absolute, indisputable facts at your disposal. Not even Mr. Hinckley speaks that cut-and-dried on anything, and he's supposedly God's right-hand man. It could be really scary for you if you discovered the "facts" you believe may not really be the truth after all. Having a questioning mind is the best security there is. Just food for thought, my friend.
Oops... my comment above sounds really harsh. Forgive my bluntness, I don't want to offend anyone ever. My point is I believe no one really "knows" anything. If you put ALL of your trust in any group or set way of thinking, you could be utterly devastated if it were to collapse.
The longer I live, the less certain I am of anything supposedly absolute. It all started with the lie about Santa Claus (when I recognized my Dad's handwriting on a present from Santa - the deceit really hurt).
I have to disagree with tbirdguy. There are things I know with absolute certainty. I know that there is a life after this one. I know that God exists. I know that we will answer to Him after this life. I know that God is involved in my life, nudging me this way and that way on decisions (not all, but certainly on the important ones).
Knowledge gained through the spirit is infallible, unlike the reasoning or even the senses of man.
In response to your comments (tbirdguy58), I would first like to say I don’t claim to have all the answers. Secondly, these are my thoughts and beliefs and you or anyone else is free to disagree with me.
ANY meaningful communication between two people must be based on a foundation of some sort of commonality. It doesn’t matter who the people are of what the topic is. There must be some sort of foundation for a meaningful conversation to take place.
You seem to disagree with me on a most basic, fundamental level. You are free to do so, but I doubt that we can have a very meaningful discussion. I hope you will read my blogs and other blogs of this nature (such as the one by L), but I do not think your comments will add to the discussion if you question the foundations of the entries.
Chris, thanks for your thoughtful reply. After taking time to read your blog from the beginning I get a better perspective (sorry for just jumping in out of the blue and being so off base). All any of us has is FAITH that we're privy to knowledge of God's truth, and we try to live accordingly.
A core issue on several blogs is the theme of God's will regarding celibacy and lifetime loneliness. I have difficulty believing God would require anyone point-blank to commit to a lifetime without ever experiencing a comsummated love relationship. To give him the longing and the ability, yet deny him the opportunity seems very cruel. To me it's a recipe for isolation, depression and breakdown, especially for men. Women seem better equipped emotionally to handle independence and celibacy. Of course I opine and generalize.
The church says we're welcome. I wish they'd take the issue more seriously and implement policies, procedures and programs to integrate (celibate) gays into the mainstream. We leave because we don't fit in. I became inactive in my mid-20s mainly because the pressure to date and marry was too overwhelming. I knew it wasn't right for me and that closet kept shrinking.
But "Plan B" isn't there. Can you see yourself remaining active indefinitely? I don't think it's as easy to do when you age and everyone knows you are "different." (Don't expect church callings of any significance, for instance). Who wants to sit alone every week in church, being an outsider to the Mormon life?
Sorry to fill up your blog with my rantings... I guess I have a big hole in my heart. What are your ideas on this, Chris?
As a single heterosexual woman, I too feel lonely at times. I'm 30 and going to a singles ward that I'm really too old to be going to.
I don't expect to get married . . . ever and I a perfectly prepared to be 80 and still single. Who really cares? What matters is that I will not let feelings of being a "Mormon Outsider" prevent me from devoting my life to the church.
Try not to let these feeling prevent you from doing what you know is right. You are not alone in these feelings no matter what your attraction.
I have difficulty believing God would require anyone point-blank to commit to a lifetime without ever experiencing a comsummated love relationship.
I have difficulty believing the story about Job in the bible. Why would God take such a faithful man and give him such hardships? To prove a point? To make a story to inform a struggling gay man thousands of years later? I dunno. But I know that not having sex is not the hardest thing a person could be expected to do in this life.
Chris, you rock. Thanks for helping me see more clearly and be a stronger person. Also, thanks for the shout out. ;-)
I really like that post. thanks!
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Chris,
I think there needs to be more clarity when you say, "They can see how God could love them, allow them to be gay, and still require them to live His commandments."
I think it ought to be clarified that God doesn't want you to have homosexual inclinations, but he can allow you to have them momentarily while you get your issues straightened out (pun intended) in the process of santification by the power of the Holy Spirit. A parallel could be a person who has inclinations to steal things ought not expect God to simply look past those inclinations without doing some serious work in their life to root out those inclinations.
In the end of it all, if you give it up to God and ask him to forgive you and remove it from your life no matter how difficult it may be one you, God will do it. It may hurt, but God will do it. This doesn't eliminate the need for accountability with other people, but it's a starting point and also the ending point.
See my site that deals with trying to be perfect, finding happiness, etc. It's at
www.perfectrighteousness.com
It may give some of you guys a new perspective.
The question still remains as to whether a person can be happy living a celibate life throughout their entire life. Do you think that a General Authority (hypothetically) could ever submit to this from their childhood to the end of their lives? That is to never have a companion to share his life with, to never experience what it is like to have the joy of full intimacy, not to even date or be intimate in any way. That is what they are expecting of gay people. There is still a collosal divide. In some respects the question has to do with religious orthodoxy vs. a personal relationship with God and with self. Homosexuality is not an "inclination". It is a part of who you are just as heterosexuality is a part of most people which they take for granted, never having a conflict between their orientation and the teachings of the Church. The Church serves their orientation in every way supporting dating, courtship and marriage, etc.
Terry Tempest Williams (Naturalist, Environmentalist and author of The Open Space of Democracy) stated in one of her wonderful books, "What happens when our institutions no longer serve us - no longer reflect the truth of our experience? What we know is not what we hear."
When we have conflict about our experience with our orientation with the teachings of the LDS Church on homosexuality do we sacrifice the self for conformity and acceptance? What of those who have gone and asked God about these things and have received a far different answer than the orthodox one? What then? What of those who have received priesthood blessings that actually confirm the anwers regarding God not only loving them as they are (gay) but actually confirming their previous prayers that God has actually prepared someone for them of the same gender? That has happened to a friend of mine. He talks about it in his wonderful essay entitled "My God My God Why Has Thou Forsaken Me?..." by David Alan Lach in the 1995 issue of Sunstone Magazine.
Men may let you down (even if they have all of the good intentions in the world) but God will never let you down.
There are several books (i.e. Elder Packer's To Young Men Only and President Kimball's The Miracle of Forgiveness) that need to be taken out of circulation due to the damage and even suicide that these publications have created in sensitive gay people. It is this language of "abomination" in connection to gay people that needs to cease. Though Elder Packer and President Kimbal are wonderful servants of the Lord and their intents are only for good their ignornace regarding homosexuality in these publications (and others) are what inadvertantly cause so much damage.
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